Post by Khaos King on May 27, 2011 16:54:07 GMT -5
It has been several moons since i buried my Mother, the village people gave her a funeral fit for royalty. There is nothing left for me here, she was the last remaining blood tie after my grandparents had joined the Great Sun many seasons ago. It hurts each day as the longing grows my cursed memory once thought of as a gift to remember sights, smells and words now brings me the growing painful sorrow with perfect clarity, it is now my curse that i must bare...
I return to my Mother's home as i pack my belongings and stare at a shell necklace that once belonged to my Mother, i reach for it as a tear of sadness falls on my hand.
This is all that i have of her that i will take with me, it's radiating colors shimmer like the colors of a Hummingbird's feathers, it flickers like the flapping of butterfly wings.. I lower my head as i don the necklace and reach for the bee wax candle that i use for lighting, the flame dances as i pick it up and light my home on fire.
I walk out of my once childhood home as it is engulfed in fire, i carry with me nothing but a small traveling pack and my robes that my Mother once made for me of fine colored cotton of bright red, green and bright white with trim gold, my hair braided to keep it off my face decorated with an eagle feather. The village people come out to witness the conflagration and see me leave, none speak to me as i leave the village and enter the forest.
I spend the 1st of many nights in the forest alone sitting in the dark being watched by unseen eyes of animals and things that live in the dark, natural and supernatural. i stoke the fire with a large stick as i try to bury the sadness of my recent loss, i conquer my emotions and banish the sorrow from my heart. As i wrestle with my emotions i hear a growl emanating from the dark, it is close. Most animals would not come this close to a fire yet this thing appears to be stalking me.
I peer into the dark forest and see two glowing eyes reflecting the light of the fire as it steps out of its covering.. I stand up ready to face it without fear to my surprise it simply moves back and fourth and walks up and down before taking a seat in front of me as it stares at what feels like my soul, it is a Jaguar.
I try to scare it away as i reach into the flame and pull out a flaming branch waving it in front of him in hopes that it will retreat back into the forest, it does not move as i feel its gaze studying me.
Shoo, go away! go!....
to my surprise it answers back..
where would you have me go, Brother?
what?! you can speak?!
i cautiously keep my distance as i stare at it hoping it is some kind of trick or pondering if i had lost my mind...
why are you so surprise do you not speak to animals?
Yes, but they do not speak like men do but sing, chirp, growl and move.....
I understand them and they in turn understand me we do not always do as asked.
I came to see the man god, i had heard he was the Son of the Sun.
If this is true he should know me but, i see you do not.
It turns to walk away excitedly i scream to it:
Do not go! i would know what you know!
It is true they say i am the son of the Great Sun.
That i too was once a great spirit but i do not know if this is true.
I do not remember the stories that many claim i was a part of before i was born in the world of man.
It is true you are different not like any other men....and you do look like he that i once knew.
but, he is gone buried beneath the flesh.
where do you go, Brother?
To the great floating city where the gods dwell.
what do you hope to find there, family?
My family is dead, i go to seek answers there is where i feel i will find them.
you are sadden because of your loss?
yes.
He who i knew would not be sadden for the loss of life, he would know that all things come to an end.
tell me what do you know of me before i was born into flesh?
The animals of the forest speak to each other and bring news of you.
that you are special not like others and that you can understand them.
i came to see for myself, i knew of the spirit that was you before you were made flesh.
Are you a god ?
What do you know of me, tell me..
gods, great spirits we had no need of such titles or even names prior to the 1st Cycles .
it would take too long to tell you and relive the old stories...
Please, i wish to know who i am..
The Jaguar moves closer to the fire as he takes a seat and stares at the flames... it plays with me knowing how anxious i am to hear what he has to say....
why do you suppose your memories were taken away, do you think he would want me to tell you of who you were?
perhaps another time...
It leaps over the fire and runs back into the forest leaving me with more questions than answers angry i kicked the fire scattering the ember and wood..
Is this what you gods do, play games with us ?!
i yell at the forest but i dont expect the jaguar to listen or answer back, it entices me with answers only to take them away. I sit on a log in the dark alone frustrated with not knowing who i am or am expected to be. The thought of my dead family creeps up on me during my moment of weakness as i try to hide from it and bury my head between my crossed arms... I sob quietly in the forest as sorrow overwhelms me.
.................
I return to my Mother's home as i pack my belongings and stare at a shell necklace that once belonged to my Mother, i reach for it as a tear of sadness falls on my hand.
This is all that i have of her that i will take with me, it's radiating colors shimmer like the colors of a Hummingbird's feathers, it flickers like the flapping of butterfly wings.. I lower my head as i don the necklace and reach for the bee wax candle that i use for lighting, the flame dances as i pick it up and light my home on fire.
I walk out of my once childhood home as it is engulfed in fire, i carry with me nothing but a small traveling pack and my robes that my Mother once made for me of fine colored cotton of bright red, green and bright white with trim gold, my hair braided to keep it off my face decorated with an eagle feather. The village people come out to witness the conflagration and see me leave, none speak to me as i leave the village and enter the forest.
I spend the 1st of many nights in the forest alone sitting in the dark being watched by unseen eyes of animals and things that live in the dark, natural and supernatural. i stoke the fire with a large stick as i try to bury the sadness of my recent loss, i conquer my emotions and banish the sorrow from my heart. As i wrestle with my emotions i hear a growl emanating from the dark, it is close. Most animals would not come this close to a fire yet this thing appears to be stalking me.
I peer into the dark forest and see two glowing eyes reflecting the light of the fire as it steps out of its covering.. I stand up ready to face it without fear to my surprise it simply moves back and fourth and walks up and down before taking a seat in front of me as it stares at what feels like my soul, it is a Jaguar.
I try to scare it away as i reach into the flame and pull out a flaming branch waving it in front of him in hopes that it will retreat back into the forest, it does not move as i feel its gaze studying me.
Shoo, go away! go!....
to my surprise it answers back..
where would you have me go, Brother?
what?! you can speak?!
i cautiously keep my distance as i stare at it hoping it is some kind of trick or pondering if i had lost my mind...
why are you so surprise do you not speak to animals?
Yes, but they do not speak like men do but sing, chirp, growl and move.....
I understand them and they in turn understand me we do not always do as asked.
I came to see the man god, i had heard he was the Son of the Sun.
If this is true he should know me but, i see you do not.
It turns to walk away excitedly i scream to it:
Do not go! i would know what you know!
It is true they say i am the son of the Great Sun.
That i too was once a great spirit but i do not know if this is true.
I do not remember the stories that many claim i was a part of before i was born in the world of man.
It is true you are different not like any other men....and you do look like he that i once knew.
but, he is gone buried beneath the flesh.
where do you go, Brother?
To the great floating city where the gods dwell.
what do you hope to find there, family?
My family is dead, i go to seek answers there is where i feel i will find them.
you are sadden because of your loss?
yes.
He who i knew would not be sadden for the loss of life, he would know that all things come to an end.
tell me what do you know of me before i was born into flesh?
The animals of the forest speak to each other and bring news of you.
that you are special not like others and that you can understand them.
i came to see for myself, i knew of the spirit that was you before you were made flesh.
Are you a god ?
What do you know of me, tell me..
gods, great spirits we had no need of such titles or even names prior to the 1st Cycles .
it would take too long to tell you and relive the old stories...
Please, i wish to know who i am..
The Jaguar moves closer to the fire as he takes a seat and stares at the flames... it plays with me knowing how anxious i am to hear what he has to say....
why do you suppose your memories were taken away, do you think he would want me to tell you of who you were?
perhaps another time...
It leaps over the fire and runs back into the forest leaving me with more questions than answers angry i kicked the fire scattering the ember and wood..
Is this what you gods do, play games with us ?!
i yell at the forest but i dont expect the jaguar to listen or answer back, it entices me with answers only to take them away. I sit on a log in the dark alone frustrated with not knowing who i am or am expected to be. The thought of my dead family creeps up on me during my moment of weakness as i try to hide from it and bury my head between my crossed arms... I sob quietly in the forest as sorrow overwhelms me.
.................
