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Post by Crom-Cruach on Apr 8, 2011 20:04:32 GMT -5
I just need to stay what i am doing now and hope that she comes around. no this will only bring you misery and blind you to possible happyness. Be honest and if she doesn't want you, accept and move on. Otherwise you will have nothing but unhappiness. |
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Post by Erik-El on Apr 8, 2011 20:05:23 GMT -5
If I doesn't work out, I just can't lose her as the friend that i have now. I just need to stay what i am doing now and hope that she comes around. No. What you are doing now is pressing the issue according to your above posts. People cannot be prodded into a relationship. You will lose her friendship by doing so. |
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Post by greenlantern555 on Apr 8, 2011 20:05:50 GMT -5
But that is the thing. I am happy. I am not in misery. I just could see myself with her. Im not crying every night about it. It's just something I want.
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Post by Crom-Cruach on Apr 8, 2011 20:11:41 GMT -5
It's just something I want. but she doesn't. And by hanging on this even and acting like you have admitted you are (which is pressing the issue even if you won't admit it). Then you will cause unhappyness both for you and her. |
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Post by Admiral Rodgers on Apr 8, 2011 20:16:20 GMT -5
I'm in that situation now ! I've been friends with her for a while now and recently started seeing her different , but im in "the friend zone " i have no advise , things are not going well.
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Post by greenlantern555 on Apr 8, 2011 20:23:59 GMT -5
It's just something I want. but she doesn't. And by hanging on this even and acting like you have admitted you are (which is pressing the issue even if you won't admit it). Then you will cause unhappyness both for you and her. But she does. She is just afraid right now and she has told me before that maybe later in life, just not now. I took that for what it was and I have moved on, I just think about it all the time. It's not making me unhappy, just a dream. There isn't any awkwardness. |
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Post by Crom-Cruach on Apr 8, 2011 20:28:22 GMT -5
She is just afraid right now and she has told me before that maybe later in life, just not now. this sounds like a mix of bullshit from her and wishful thinking on both your part and her no offense. |
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Post by Erik-El on Apr 8, 2011 20:29:57 GMT -5
but she doesn't. And by hanging on this even and acting like you have admitted you are (which is pressing the issue even if you won't admit it). Then you will cause unhappyness both for you and her. But she does. She is just afraid right now and she has told me before that maybe later in life, just not now. I took that for what it was and I have moved on, I just think about it all the time. It's not making me unhappy, just a dream. There isn't any awkwardness. I am sorry to say this but if she did, I mean really did, she would not say "Maybe someday". That is her trying to protect your feelings. You have a few options. 1) You can choose to pressure her like you said you had been and you will lose her 2) You can treat her like a friend and get off the idea that you two could ever happen, therefore saving your friendship. 3) You can cut all ties with her. I will tell you right now the only one that even gives you a glimmer of a shot is 2. But hoping for something like that when she has given you every reason to move on is unrealistic. You should set your sights on another girl..... and not in a immature attempt to make her jealous because that kind of stuff is not as subtle as some think. |
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Post by Crom-Cruach on Apr 8, 2011 20:37:25 GMT -5
But she does. She is just afraid right now and she has told me before that maybe later in life, just not now. I took that for what it was and I have moved on, I just think about it all the time. It's not making me unhappy, just a dream. There isn't any awkwardness. I am sorry to say this but if she did, I mean really did, she would not say "Maybe someday". That is her trying to protect your feelings. You have a few options. 1) You can choose to pressure her like you said you had been and you will lose her 2) You can treat her like a friend and get off the idea that you two could ever happen, therefore saving your friendship. 3) You can cut all ties with her. I will tell you right now the only one that even gives you a glimmer of a shot is 2. But hoping for something like that when she has given you every reason to move on is unrealistic. You should set your sights on another girl..... and not in a immature attempt to make her jealous because that kind of stuff is not as subtle as some think. this here is wise Highball. Listen to Erik. Remember, the only thing that prevents us from finding better is the refusal to look, and lacking the perseverance to keep looking if you don;t find it the first time. |
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Post by Admiral Rodgers on Apr 8, 2011 20:47:24 GMT -5
Woah , Wise words from Crom , thats totlly going in my sig
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Post by greenlantern555 on Apr 8, 2011 20:51:06 GMT -5
I know you're both right. Thanks guys.
I mean I have never pressured her or anything. When I told her and she said no, I backed off and things are now back to normal. It's just so hard because she flirts with me WAY more than I do her. We always told each other that we were brother and sister, but then these feelings came out of no where. She doesn't want to lose me almost more than I don't want to lose her. I was wiling to give it a shot, but she just said that losing me as a friend would mean losing the only thing keeping her sane. And I am completely happy with that.
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Post by Crom-Cruach on Apr 9, 2011 7:10:25 GMT -5
I know you're both right. Thanks guys. It's just so hard because she flirts with me WAY more than I do her. This has to stop. If she is not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with you, then she should not flirt with you. It's playing with your desires, it's not fair to you and it's not right of her. Especially since she knows your feelings. |
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Post by greenlantern555 on Apr 9, 2011 15:48:55 GMT -5
I know you're both right. Thanks guys. It's just so hard because she flirts with me WAY more than I do her. This has to stop. If she is not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with you, then she should not flirt with you. It's playing with your desires, it's not fair to you and it's not right of her. Especially since she knows your feelings. Believe me, I know. This whole situation just blows. I am just afraid that I am going to have to lose my best friend. |
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Post by Crom-Cruach on Apr 11, 2011 20:42:00 GMT -5
if she keeps this up knowing your feelings she is not being a good friend.
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Post by Lunacyde Prime on Apr 11, 2011 23:49:29 GMT -5
I understand where you are coming from. I have been in this situation and I can tell you that if it's not meant to be that there is someone down the road for you that is a better fit romantically and you should try to preserve the friendship you have with her.
I also know what it's like to have a girl that is afraid of commmitment, afraid of a relationship, etc. Patience is the key. It really all depends on the situation but sometimes persistence can pay off.
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