Cry Caine-Movie Reviews

[Vance Astro]

DISNEY'S ALADDIN (1992)


Summary: Aladdin, a street urchin, accidentally meets Princess Jasmine, who is in the city undercover. They love each other, but she can only marry a prince.


Cast:
Scott Weinger as Aladdin / Prince Ali Ababwa
Robin Williams as The Genie/The Narrator
Jonathan Freeman as Jafar
Frank Welker as Abu
Gilbert Gottfried as Iago
Douglas Seale as The Sultan
Jim Cummings as Razoul


I went to see this movie in the theaters when I was a child and I must say that I was in love with the movie.I thought it was the coolest thing ever.Watching as an adult I don't have the same feeling. I guess because the movie isn't for me and that's why I have issues with it but I can see why kids loved it.

Now Aladdin is about this Arabian street rat, obviously named Aladdin who basically has to steal to eat. One day the Princess, Jasmine runs away and they meet. The next time they see each other Aladdin has gone from homeless to Prince because he was tricked into retrieving a genie lamp and he unleashed the genie. In short the one who tricked him..Jafar, gets ahold of the genie and it's power and becomes all powerful and of course Aladdin who is now just a regular guy without the help of the genie has to outsmart Jafar in order to defeat him.

Now this is your typical Disney movie.Superb animation and artwork matched with great storytelling,pointless musical numbers that for some reason always receive high accolades and some Anthropomorphism (or in other words animals that can talk or communicate like humans).

THE GOOD
-Always great animation from Disney.Good Art Direction
-Great Voice Acting


THE BAD
-Shameless Archetyping of Arabian people,mythology and society
-Annoying and extensive musical numbers

I give this film a
7 out of 10
CLASSIC

[Vance Astro]

I, ROBOT (2004)


Summary: In the year 2035 a techno-phobic cop investigates a crime that may have been perpetrated by a robot, which leads to a larger threat to humanity.

Cast:
Will Smith as Det. Del Spooner
Bridget Moynahan as Dr. Susan Calvin
Alan Tudyk as Sonny
Shia LaBeouf as Farber
Fiona Hogan as V.I.K.I.
James Cromwell as Dr. Alfred Lanning
Bruce Greenwood as Lawrence Robertson
Chi McBride as Lt. John Bergin
Terry Chen as Chin
Adrian Ricard as Gigi (Granny)

Although the story for this film isn't very original it's one of my favorites from Will Smith.The gist of the film is that robots are supposed to have been created to be the perfect help for human life accept one robot that controls all other robots rebelled causing the massive Robot population to go rouge and start committing crimes. The one that's noticed first is murder when a robot named Sonny kills the man who created the robots in the first place. Of course Will Smith (Detective Del Spooner) is the only one in the world that believes the robots have gone rouge and even more obvious..of course nobody believes him. The further it goes into the story it becomes clear that he was right.

Will Smith is one of my favorite actors, and despite his willingness to be in pretty much anything, Chi Mcbride is a great actor as well.Everyone was pretty good as far as acting is concerned.I think the only thing for me that keeps this movie from being perfect is how see through the plot is.You don't have to see this to know what happens.It's obvious.It feels very typical.There really isn't a twist that you won't expect.Basically you just sit back and watch the cast act their asses off. Aside from that the visuals were pretty good also.The look of the robots, the way the moved and interacted with the environment as well as turning 2004 into the year 2035 was done very well.There were very subtle things about this movie that I thought were done well with this film that made me really like it. I feel though like if this movie had been made in the 90's it would have been garbage.It's amazing how far tech has come in making films.

THE GOOD
-Solid Cast.Not Acting issues.
-Nice visuals.Great Transformation into the future.
-The Action scenes.Well Done.Lots of carnage.


THE BAD
-Not much


I give this film an
8 out of 10
CLASSIC

[Vance Astro]

NAKED WEAPON\CHEK LAW DAK GUNG (2002)


Summary: A mysterious woman, known as Madame M, kidnaps forty pre-teen girls and transports them to a remote island to train them as the most deadly assassins. CIA operative Jack Chen follows the case for 6 years with no leads, but when a series of assassinations begin to occur, Jack suspects that Madame M is back in business.

Like a contagious virus, pretty and athletic girls in their teens start disappearing around the globe one after another. The mastermind behind these abductions is Madame M, who plans to train these girls into professional killers. After several years of gruesome training, only Charlene, Katt and Jing survive and become the world's most sought after professional killers. On a recent mission to assassinate someone in Hong Kong, however CIA agent Jack, who vows to help her reclaim her past by eliminating Madame M.

Cast:
Almen Wong as Madam M
Maggie Q as Charlene Ching
Anya Wu as Katt
Jewel Lee as Jing
Daniel Wu as Jack Chen
Cheng Pei-pei as Faye Ching, Charlene's long-lost mother
Andrew Lin as Ryuichi, a Yakuza boss

This is one of my favorite actions films of all time. It's written well, the action scenes are memorable and very well done and it's a movie I can watch again and again. The gist of the film is that a bunch of children (all female) are taken by Madame M to an island and trained to be warriors. 3 of them (Charlene,Katt & Jing) are the last standing to become Madame M's new assassins. She teaches them that sex is a weapon and that a man is most vulnerable when he climaxes or when he's in the act with a woman. So the film follows them as they go on missions and take down their intended targets and eventually the conflict becomes whether they want to continue to do Madame M's dirty work or fight her back.

I haven't seen Maggie Q in much but I must say she was amazing in this movie as Charlene.The others were really good too but she was flawless.I liked that the majority of the cast was female and that they were still able to put together great scenes.




THE GOOD
-Interesting Story
-Great fight choreography
-Alot of beautiful women in this movie
-My first introduction to Maggie Q

THE BAD
-Some parts were kind of cheesy


I give this film an
8 out 10
CLASSIC

[Vance Astro]

ABOVE THE RIM (1994)


Summary: Story of a promising high school basketball star and his relationships with two brothers, one a drug dealer and the other a former basketball star fallen on hard times and now employed as a security guard.

Cast:
Duane Martin as Kyle
Leon Robinson as Shep
Tupac Shakur as Birdie
Marlon Wayans as Bugaloo
Bernie Mac as Flip Johnson
David Bailey as Rollins
Tonya Pinkins as Mailika
Wood Harris as Motaw
Shawn Michael Howard as Bobby
Henry Simmons as Starnes
Nick Hedberg as Nutso
Michael Rispoli as Richie
Byron Minns as Monrow
Bill Rafferty as Himself
James Williams as Speedy
John Thompson as Himself

So basically this is one of those feel good black movies where this one guy gets in to trouble with a rough crowd and then he does the right thing and gets out. Above the Rim is about a kid that was really good at basketball named Kyle Watson. Now Kyle is trying to get into college but his game just isn't there yet. He's a ball hog and he doesn't have the best shot in the world. Now his friend Bugaloo (Marlon Wayans) introduces him to a guy named Birdie (Tupac Shakur), this guys owns things, he's got money and he has connections. Birdie wants Kyle to play for him in a streetball tournament and in exchange he will get him into Georgetown University.

Now in the beginning of all this you meet a guy named Shep. He's the school janitor but he's playing this guy Nutso one on one in the beginning and wearing a letterman so you know he played basketball in high school. Basically Shep was exactly like Kyle until he got his act together.



When it comes time for Kyle to play for Birdie in this tournament he has already become acquainted with Shep and he becomes a better player. (Yes with the help of the janitor). He decides that he's not going to play for Birdie but for his own team..the team he was supposed to play for in the first place. Now, Birdie's team plays dirty so one guy gets hurt..so someone needs to fill in. And who else but the damn janitor is now ready to play and of course they go out there and win and everyone lives happily ever after.SPOILER ALERT (Oh well accept Birdie because he loses his investment in Kyle and gets killed by Bugaloo)

Now this movie has a positive message.They are trying to create a character with Kyle that people in the inner cities can relate to.All of these negative things are going on around him.He starts to get into them but in the end the guidance of someone unlikely is what helps him through it.However this movie is extremely cheesy. If this was based on a real event you could be almost positive it didn't happen anything like this.


THE GOOD
-Positive Message
-Mildly Accurate Depiction of Inner City Life
-Tupac Shakur's acting

THE BAD
-Cheesy plot twists
-Crap acting on the part of half the cast

I give this film a
4 out of 10
NOSTALGIA PURPOSES ONLY

[Vance Astro]

HOW HIGH (2001)


Summary: Two guys by the name of Silas and Jamal decided to one day smoke something magical, which eventually helps them to ace their college entrance exam.

Cast:
Method Man as Silas P. Silas
Redman as Jamal King
Obba Babatundé as Dean Carl Cain
Melissa Peterman as Sheila Cain
Mike Epps as Baby Powder
Anna Maria Horsford as Mamma King
Fred Willard as Philip "Phil" Huntley
Jeffery Jones as The Vice President
Hector Elizondo as Bill the Crew Coach
Lark Voorhies as Lauren
Al Shearer as I Need Money
Chuck Davis as Ivory
Essence Atkins as Jamie
Chris Elwood as Bart
T.J. Thyne as Gerald
Trieu Tran as Tuan
Justin Urich as Jeffrey
Spalding Gray as Professor Jackson
Tracy Morgan as Field of Dreams Guy (uncredited)
Cypress Hill as themselves
Chuck Liddell as himself in the Party Fight Scene
Pat Finn as Army Recruiter
Garrett Morris as canned pork chop commercial pitchman along with Tracy Morgan

How High is the story of Jamaal (Redman),and Silas (Method Man), two niggas from the hood who decide they are going to make something of themselves by going to college.Their homeboy Ivory whom they buy weed from helps them get into Harvard after he tells them the answers to the SAT's as a ghost. Ivory died because he fell asleep smoking weed and caught on fire, in response he dived out the window of his apartment on to the street.Jamaal and Silas took this mans ashes and sprinkles them in a weed plant they they named after him.Whenever they would smoke the weed from this particular plant it would cause Ivory to appear. (Sounds ridiculous already right?)



How High is one of those fantastical "one-random event after another" films, (like the Hangover,Bridesmaids,The Sitter) this one just happens to star to Hip-Hop legends.It's funny, it's a classic,you can watch it repeatedly.It's a solid comedy film.


THE GOOD
-Achieves comedy
-Method Man & Redman can actually act

THE BAD
-Weed plays a huge part in this film, it's almost the entire subject so if you don't like humor about drugs, this one isn't for you.

I give this film a
8 out of 10
CLASSIC

[Vance Astro]

KICK-ASS (2010)


How is this in any way realistic? it's supposed to be what would happen if their were real costumed heroes but that's not what I saw. So it starts off with this nerdy kid who goes to this comic shop all the time with his friends. He thought of what it would be like to be a costumed hero like all comic readers are likely to do at some point and after a while he buys a costume (a wet suit and a mask) and starts trying to fight crime. As you would imagine since he doesn't know any martial arts and never had any training he gets his ass kicked almost every time he puts his costume on. He gets stabbed, beat up, hit by a car etc. etc. after he almost dies he still puts on the costume? Why because people think he's an actual hero after a pathetic display of combat against some "thugs". Also because the girl he likes (who thinks he's gay and he won't tell her he's not for some stupid reason) says that some guy has been bothering her. he goes and tries to scare this guy as Kick-Ass but sadly enough he's still some nerd who can't fight so Hit-Girl and Big Daddy save him from himself. This is where the movie gets ridiculous and I tune out. i don't how long you train a little girl she's never going to be able to do what hit-Girl can do.It's completely ridiculous.I feel asleep shortly after the rich kid came into the picture and he tried to become a superhero so he could get close to Kick-Ass and take him out for his father (who's men told him Kick-Ass had taken out some of his best men..which is a lie).I don't know what happens after this because when I woke up the credits were going up. From what I saw..I don't doubt the rest of it sucked.

The Good
-Many references to other comics
-Some parts were actually humerous
-The concept of the movie\comic is pretty cool

The Bad
-Nicholas Cage
-Doesn't live up to being realistic in the least
-Doesn't at all feel anything like the comics (IMO), it's the same concept and has some of the same themes but the comics more feel like vintage Daredevil, this movie was more like spoof.It felt too much like a comedy.

I give this movie a,
4 out of 10
MEDIOCRE

[Vance Astro]

BLACK BELT\KURO-OBI (2007)


Summary: Real Fight, Real Karate, Real Japan.

Cast:
Akihito Yagi as Giryu
Tatsuya Naka as Taikan
Yuji Suzuki as Choei


Black Belt is the story of 3 Karate Students who, with the death of their master try their best to uphold his teachings. Taikan seems to be the best out of the 3. When an infantry of the Japanese army comes ton confiscate the dojo and take the land, Taikan takes down several men.The Captain was no match for him either but the master told Taikan to stop and let Giryu finish his fight...which he did easily.

The Master explains to them the principles of Karate, one of which is to not fight or strike but to defend. Taikan apparently doesn't take this part of his teachings so literal because most of the people you see him fight in this film he strikes first and fast. When the Master is no more he gives his 3 students the Kuro-Obi (The Black Belt ) and in the end, they end up fighting over it. Giryu is almost killed by the men that came to avenge the Captain, Taikan becomes a member of the army and also becomes as corrupt as the men that tried to take their dojo and Choei is kind of just along for the ride because he's injured in the very beginning

When Giryu recovers from the injuries he suffered he comes after Taikan but not before honing his skills and remembering the lessons he was taught.There by ultimately becoming the true successor of the Kuro-obi.

This movie is kind of boring.You can tell where it's going by the middle of the film and they spend way to much time on the story when it's not really very good to begin with.When I watch a film like this I don't really care about the story anyway. I just want to see some people get hit and alot of that is held off until the end and even then there isn't much fighting.The fight between Taikan and Giryu which the story is basically driving at from the beginning is probably the worst one in the film.

THE GOOD
-The story isn't overly unrealistic.Although it's not very good it's at least believable.There isn't one guy beating up tons of armed men.

THE BAD
-not enough fighting and the choreography of the fights isn't very interesting.


I give this film a
5 out of 10
OK

[Vance Astro]

GREEN LANTERN (2011)


Summary: A test pilot is granted a mystical green ring that bestows him with otherworldly powers, as well as membership into an intergalactic squadron tasked with keeping peace within the universe.

Cast:
Ryan Reynolds as Hal Jordan
Blake Lively as Carol Ferris
Peter Sarsgaard as Dr. Hector Hammond
Mark Strong as Thaal Sinestro
Angela Bassett as Dr. Amanda Waller
Tim Robbins as Robert Hammond:
Temuera Morrison as Abin Sur
Taika Waititi as Thomas Kalmaku
Geoffrey Rush as the voice of Tomar-Re
Michael Clarke Duncan as the voice of Kilowog:
Clancy Brown as the voice of Parallax

I've been seeing a lot of rave reviews about the CGI in this movie but I guess I'll be the first to say it was garbage most of the characters in this film were poorly done even Sinestro and he wasn't even CG, he was just colored pink.I didn't like the designs of pretty much anything in this movie.I didn't like the costumes,I didn't like how Oa looked etc.When I first saw the previews..I was thinking that Ryan Reynolds would be a terrible Hal Jordan but actually, he wasn't that bad.I enjoyed his performance as Hal.Actually I had 0 issues with the casting at all.I think they did a very good job with that.

I don't know the origin of Hal Jordan so I can't really compare and contrast between the movie and the comic but the story was a very classic and predictable storyline.You pretty much know what will happen before it does.Which is fine.Most superhero films are like that for comic readers.

The part that I liked most are the parts where Hal actually uses his powers because they did a good job with the constructs as far as how they looked.There was alot of really creative ones in there too that I've never really seen in the comics.

To put it plainly.I didn't hate this movie but it wasn't one of my favs.It's not something I would want to see again even later in life on HBO.It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be though.It had it's good moments and it's bad moments.

THE GOOD
-Fairly Good casting choices
-The Action Scenes

THE BAD
-The CGI and Animation wasn't very good
-I feel like there was too little shown about Oa and the Lanterns storyline wise

Note: Had the costumes been designed like the image below, I probably would have liked them more.


I give Green Lantern a
5 out of 10
AVERAGE

[Vance Astro]

AVATAR (2009)


Summary: A paraplegic Marine dispatched to the moon Pandora on a unique mission becomes torn between following his orders and protecting the world he feels is his home.

Cast:

Humans
Sam Worthington as Jake Sully
Stephen Lang as Colonel Miles Quaritch
Sigourney Weaver as Dr. Grace Augustine
Michelle Rodriguez as Trudy Chacón
Giovanni Ribisi as Parker Selfridge
Joel David Moore as Dr. Norm Spellman
Dileep Rao as Dr. Max Patel,

Na'vi
Zoe Saldana as Neytiri
C. C. H. Pounder as Mo'at
Wes Studi as Eytukan
Laz Alonso as Tsu'tey

I'm not going to go overboard like most people who have seen this movie and overate it.Also if you don't see this in the theatre you better have a TV that's just as big or the visuals aren't as stunning as they could be. Now with that said, I thought Avatar was pretty good overall. It doesn't get any points for story line though. If you've seen Last Samurai or Last of the Mohicans are any movie like that, you already know the plot and the outcome. So when the movie begins it has a military feel to it. The humans want to go into a land inhabited by these large blue creatures. Sam Worthington's character, Jake Sully who is wheelchair bound is assigned to go in and win the trust of this race of aliens so they can retrieve a resource call unobtanium. Now this is when it begins to remind me of how the Europeans came over to the U.S where the Native American's resided, and took their land. The character Jake gets assigned an "avatar" which is the body of one of these aliens called Na'vi that he controls..so he will look like them. In a short time he meets Zoe Saldana's character Neytiri. Instantly you can tell they are going to be the love story (Pocahantas and John Smith LOL). So Jake actually gets these people to trust him and becomes one of them. You almost think he is going to pull it off and get them to relocate but humans couldn't wait any more. They got pissed, went into their land and blew up some sh#t. Took down things they worship and destroyed their land.



When you see the movie and how the Na'vi act, their rituals and how they behave when their land is invaded even down to how they fight and the weapons they use. It's some reminiscent of Native Americans. When Neytiri saves Jake as he is new to using an Avatar, she has to kill a dog creature to save his life. But when he goes to thank her she gets mad because...because of him she had to kill the animal and she felt sorry for it. I won't give away what happens at the end but I will tell you Michelle Rodriguez dies like she does in every movie. She tried to help the Na'vi against the humans and she got wrecked. Tough break.


THE GOOD
-The visuals, the environments were amazing.
-Very well put together cast. Zoe Saldana was great as Neytiri.I actually love her as an actor so it was nice to see her play something other than some dude's girlfriend.
-I like the time spent on developing the Na'vi race. Although the story has pretty much been done before, it was told well.

THE BAD
-Too many familiar themes
-Even though they didn't show it, there was a sex scene.I didn't like that
-It's a little long


I give Avatar a
9 out of 10
GORGEOUS