The Official Rant Thread!

[greenlantern555]

I am sick and tired of people yelling at others for stupid reasons! I could explain but it's a lot to...

[Crom-Cruach]

*incoherent ranting about his favorite hobby store closing down*

[Purrpura Bastette]

People not leaving me alone after I tell them to a thousand times.

[Mr. E. Liturazy]

The filter of fuck on this site. I just want to say FUCK. FFS.

[Decoy Elite]

I'm about to add a real rant to this thread.

[Decoy Elite]

I think everyone has probably noticed something about me game wise, firstly I’m a huge Nintendo fan boy who will always enjoy almost everything they make despite the fact that it’s almost always the same few games, secondly I flarking hate most RPGs. Okay, the second one is kind of hard to catch due to how often I mention how much I love the Paper Mario series. But then again Paper Mario is different from most RPGs for me in the fact it’s actually good. But anyway, I could talk about why Paper Mario is awesome (except for that one sequel that I will hate forever), so let’s avoid speaking of it’s amazingness for now. Right then I hate most “normal” RPGs for a variety of reasons, which I will map out for everyone to see if they agree or disagree.


First off there’s one thing that I hate from turn based RPGs more than anything. Random encounters. I flarking hate random encounters with every fiber of my being. Random encounters are the bane of my existence because I am notoriously awful at most turn based RPGs. I forget to load up on health, I never level grind, and my greatest feat of strategy is Zerg rushing bitches in Star Craft. So in other words random encounters kill my ass on a consistent basis. Basically unlike a game I like (Paper Mario) I’m unable to really clear an area. No, in most turn based RPGs you basically end up with an infinite amount of enemies, so if you’re unprepared (and guess who is always unprepared) then the random encounters will completely skull flark your entire party as they try and run towards the nearest town to heal. Random encounters really seem to love to pop up on me at the worst times as well, only showing their bastard faces after I’ve been in a big fight and my entire party is low on health and I’m out of potions, mana, or whatever shit I need to live. And the worst part is that almost everywhere is an area full of random encounters in this games, it’s Pokemon except the entire world is tall grass and you’ve only got that one rat Pokemon that you capture in every Pokemon game ever.

The second problem I run into the needless complexity. You see in a good turn based RPG (Paper Mario) things are kept relatively simple and yet give you a lot of leeway when it comes to customization and strategy. Meanwhile in most turn based RPGs (A.K.A the crap I hate) everything is horribly convoluted, with shit tons of menus, upgrades, and other useless crap. What makes this all worse is that despite all the extra content most of these games don’t have nearly as much customization as games like Paper Mario. Seriously, how do you have five different menus, twenty classes, and three thousand different items and yet still lose out customization wise to a game with one damn character? By sucking ass, that’s how. My point here is that there’s really no need for half this overcomplicated crap. It might be helpful for that one guy who needs the +1 defense a warrior gets, but for someone like me who wants actually gameplay rewards for my little changes it comes off as stupid.

Next we’ve got the next thing which I’m sure people will disagree with me on, boring ass repetitive gameplay. That is to say that you, as the player, don’t really do anything other than point at who to attack and then your character attacks. Don’t get me wrong turn based combat is solid enough, but honestly in most games it amounts to having one stab your enemy, one guy heal the stabber, and one guy to steal health potions from enemies, and if you have a third person…..more stabbing then. You see, there’s two things that makes turn based RPG combat repetitive, first you’ve got to little variety really you end up with only a few attacks that you can recycle over and over again, the second thing is that player has no control over how effective the attack is. The first thing actually is addressed if many good turned based RPGs (and by that I mean ones that I tolerate gameplay wise) but the second issues is completely ignored which I find rather strange. I mean, it’s like the developers are afraid that the players are such colossal retards that they won’t even be handle the something as simple as a timing puzzle despite the fact that these same games stuff in needlessly convoluted combat systems anyway.

Lastly there’s the stories, which stories you may wonder. Most of them. I can actually count the amount of RPG stories that I like on one hand. Paper Mario, Paper Mario 2, Earthbound, Mario and Luigi Super Star Saga, Mario and Luigi Partners in Time, and Bowers inside story…….I have an extra finger. Anyway, all these games have two things in common, firstly they’re very light hearted and don’t take themselves seriously, secondly they’re characters are annoying ass pricks that I want to stab to death on sight. Seriously how are whining retards with horrible dialogue suppose to be relatable? I don’t get how I, as a person that’s able to breathe on my own, am suppose to relate to someone who seems to have been dropped on their head so many times that they must wear a giant wig of ridicules size in order to make sure that no one notices the huge blood gushing wound? Story wise turn based RPGs are quite frankly shitty as you get. They’re the bottom of the barrel story wise, mostly because unlike other games with notoriously bad storylines like the Mario series and even Legend of Zelda, turn based RPG games think that their stories are great and that I, as the player, actually give a shit about what happens. Seriously, while there are a few good turn based RPG story lines most games fall flat on their face in the story department. Now, I’m not one to give a shit about storylines, but the problem is that most RPGs use this as their selling point so I actually expect something good. For instance, I’m always told about how great the story in something FFX is, and yet when I played it I found the whole thing predictable and retarded. I mean, if you’re going to point out the damn story to me and force me to watch your horribly voiced acted cuts scenes your flarking story better be great.

Now then many people might point out that this whole thing is just my opinion and that as someone who’s bad at RPGs, doesn’t get the point of the entire turn based system, and doesn’t like the epic storyline of FFX, my opinion shouldn’t count. To that I only have one response, flark off.

[greenlantern555]

I hate it when people complain about the cold and yet they are in shorts and a tee-shirt! Come on!

[cm24]

Nov 1, 2010 11:29:32 GMT -5 @greenlantern555 said:

I hate it when people complain about the cold and yet they are in shorts and a tee-shirt! Come on!

Same here.

[greenlantern555]

I hate going over the same things in class over and over and FLARKING OVER just because people in my theory class are retards!

[Power NeXus]

i hate it when people post seriously flarking long rants in the rant thread and i feel obligated to read it all even though i'm thinking "hold flark that's a lot of reading..."

[Decoy Elite]

Nov 1, 2010 16:21:00 GMT -5 Power NeXus said:

i hate it when people post seriously flarking long rants in the rant thread and i feel obligated to read it all even though i'm thinking "hold flark that's a lot of reading..."

I'm slowing turning you all into hate filled bastards like myself. Muhahahaha!

[greenlantern555]

Especially me, Decoy... ;-)

[Decoy Elite]

Nov 1, 2010 16:58:50 GMT -5 @greenlantern555 said:

Especially me, Decoy... ;-)

Yes! I shall crush your optimism under the sheer force of my despair. Then I'll let you play Earthbound to gain some hope, and then point out that you'll never be able to play the sequel. MUhahahah!

[greenlantern555]

Nov 1, 2010 17:12:07 GMT -5 Decoy Elite said:

Nov 1, 2010 16:58:50 GMT -5 @greenlantern555 said:

Especially me, Decoy... ;-)

Yes! I shall crush your optimism under the sheer force of my despair. Then I'll let you play Earthbound to gain some hope, and then point out that you'll never be able to play the sequel. MUhahahah!

My will is strong for I am GL of sector 2814! TAKE MY GREEN CRABS!!

[Decoy Elite]

NOT THE CRABS! NOOOOOO! My only weakness!

[greenlantern555]

Nov 1, 2010 17:37:17 GMT -5 Decoy Elite said:

NOT THE CRABS! NOOOOOO! My only weakness!

MUHAHAHAHAHA! YOU'LL HAVE THEM FOREVER!!!

[greenlantern555]

I WANT MORE FREE TIME!

[greenlantern555]

I hate getting sick...

[cm24]

Nov 2, 2010 12:09:49 GMT -5 @greenlantern555 said:

I hate getting sick...

Not only you

[greenlantern555]

EVERYTHING IS ABOUT ME!